Mom taught us kids to have respect for God, pray before meals and say the Lord's prayer every night as we went to bed. I even remember her telling me that if I wanted to go to heaven, I had to believe Jesus was the Son of God and tell him I was sorry for my sins. We went to church at Christmas (sometimes) and usually at Easter. When I was a teen, I was involved in our church youth group and became a Sunday school teacher. I read my Bible and prayed regularly. People recognized my interest in the things of God and his Word and some called me the "God Squad" girl, but I had one problem. In spite of all my effort to be a good girl and please God, I really didn't have a clue who God was. When I prayed, I begged him to reveal himself to me, to DO something for me, show me a sign that he recognized me. I said, "Lord, if you could just draw a line and show me where on that line I am and where on that line you are, then I could know how to get close to you." By the time I went to college, I was desperate to KNOW God, but of all the people I talked to, pastors, evangelists, christian entertainers, counselors, and church goers, no one had any answers. I was swirling in a circle of self-proclaimed Christians who didn't know themselves who God was. I was told to be baptized, speak in tongues, and engage in spiritual warfare, but none of these things led to that close relationship with God I believed was possible. I began writing letters to God. It wasn't long after that that God, the one and only true God, Creator of heaven and earth, reached down and plucked me up out of my darkness and revealed himself to me. It was early in a North Dakota winter that I was walking through the university student center on my way to class when I saw a familiar face. This little man from India was sitting behind a table representing his Christian fellowship group and I decided if I was ever going to get closer to God, I'd need to get close to some of his people. After talking a little bit with the guy, I had to ask, "Can you tell me why it seems like God is on the other side of the world?" The little man smiled tenderly at me and told me to come sit down with him. Then he did something NO ONE had EVER done for me. He opened the Bible. Verse after verse, I read the scriptures he pointed out to me. The more I read, the more I began to see. For the first time in my life, I KNEW where God was and where I was in relation to him. He did draw that line and he showed me through his Word that he wasn't even ON the line...and neither was I. He was infinitely above it and I was infinitely below it; he was high and Holy and I was nothing but a wicked, ungodly form of flesh who had grievously insulted him with my sin. The realization blew me away but the Indian man encouraged me when he reminded me that Jesus Christ died for my sins and that I could have my sins totally washed away. I could be clean, guiltless, and I could enter into that close relationship with God that I wanted so much if I would acknowledge my sins before him and repent of them, putting my trust totally in Jesus Christ. I threw myself on his promise and have never, never regretted that choice. I can say with 100% assurance that I will go to heaven when I die and in the mean time, I have a loving God who walks me through this life; he is real to me and I praise him for having seen me, heard me, and taken me into his arms.